Soundtrack for a Waiting Mother

I've made soundtracks that accompanied me through adventures big and small. Musical collections on tape carried me through heartbreaks, ego crushings, triumphs of the heart, death, birth and every other life transition. The day I got my first tape player, I started making mixes.

My love for the compilation grew as my musical library did. In high school, my boyfriend and I would compete. Remember the movie High Fidelity and how the guys would list their top 5's? Top 5 Ultimate Breakup songs? Top 5 Songs to Play at Your Funeral? Yeah, our competitions and banter were a lot like that. The high school mixing was fun, but it became an entirely different sport after I was chosen to DJ for the college radio station. The edgy vibe, the audience...the vinyl. And, the mixes...oh, the mixes!

I can reminisce for hours about those good times. Fun, carefree, hazy times...fun times. And, such is life, those feelings have changed quite a bit since college. My love for the mix, however, and my need for a musical accompaniment during life's twists and turns - is still very, very present.

I have a huge collection of tapes gathered over years of genres and pinnacles of experience. The one soundtrack that I've worked on the longest continues to tumble around in my mind. It has developed slowly, changed tone dramatically and gotten very long over the years. I just can't seem to finish it - to wrap it up - to record it.

It all began as I romantically anticipated and approached motherhood. That was at least 10 years ago. Does this not just scream "work in progress"?

Yes. A "work in progress". And, yes, my parallel growth experience.

During what I refer to as "the infertility years", the idealistic tone of my soundtrack was replaced with an introspective and questioning one. As I get closer to resolution, the music refects that as well.

Originally I intended to use a separate blog to explore and share the various songs that comprise The Soundtrack for a Waiting Mother. I wanted to look at each song individually, read the pertinent lyrics and collect others' thoughts as I did so. What a collective, I thought! However, due to copyright related complications I have changed my mind on the format.

What I feel that I can share however, is an ITunes version of my soundtrack. On the right sidebar of the buttercup blog you can click on The Soundtrack for a Waiting Mother and it will connect to the ITunes version of the compliation. My personal version is a bit longer (quite a bit) than the one here because ITunes didn't include all of my selections. But, hey, I thought that it was better than nothing.

Please feel free to email me or post here any other songs that you think should be a part of The Soundtrack for a Waiting Mother. I truly welcome any creative/constructive thoughts.

This is a working document!

My hope is that one of these days I'll have it all updated and at a point where I will feel comfortable finally recording it.

I would like to think that by that time I'll be working on an entirely different Soundtrack. At least, I sure hope that I am...because, well you know, I'll hopefully be a Mom by then.

Cheers! XO