Monday, July 19, 2010

Trying to put words to it all...with the help of some images

In spite of the fact that I have had over four years to prepare...I haven't read this:


I never finished this:


I haven't researched this:


I still need to do this:


And, although it would REALLY come in handy about now - I never got around to doing this:


Yeah, yeah...sure, sure - I've been busy. Working full time, sewing up a storm, traveling a bit, returning to exercise, learning to be an Auntie. Although life has been pretty good and fairly full - I still feel a bit like this guy:


Actually I should say that I felt like that guy. I have felt suspended, lifeless, disengaged. Comatose.

Many, many, many years of waiting might do that to a person.

And, now I feel jolted awake.
I feel foggy and surprised that I need to function responsibly.
Although utterly unprepared, I feel excited and stoked and fired up for motherhood to enter my life.

Its time to wake up.

23 comments:

walternatives said...

I'm truly sorry for your years of heartbreak, suspension and disengagement - cruel, it is. Soul draining. But I'm so friggin' excited for you and JZ on the brink of (FINALLY!) your referral! Savor the stoked and the excitement - let it carry you to where you have been waiting to be for so long.

Welcome to the Motherhood Club, Momma! with loving wishes for all the days ahead - C

M3 said...

How close is it?! I'll have to go track down how far the last referral batch got. So excited for you guys.

Anonymous said...

I know exactly how you feel! It is hard to describe to people who have not been through the wait! We are almost there...panic!!

Anonymous said...

I forgot to sign my name...see what I mean...already absent minded!!

Mariah-seekingsloan
LID 5.16.06

Polar Bear said...

I'm so very excited for you!!!
Hang-on and enjoy the ride of a lifetime my friend. It is amazing. I can't wait to follow your journey!!

"M" said...

Wake up, wake up, wake up....you are about to join the party of your life. I am so happy you are back and can't wait to celebrate you. You will figure it all out and get done what needs to. I know it must feel strange after all of this time, but the energy will soon start flowing again.

Special K said...

OMG...you described it PERFECTLY. We've all been comatose for the last several years... and suddenly we're awake. And freaking out! LOL!

Katie J said...

Good morning! So very excited for you.

Joannah said...

I am so excited for you!!! Finally you get to do all those things to prepare for a wonderful homecoming and a new phase of life. :)

Anonymous said...

This is EXACTLY how I feel! I have the same LID (and agency) as you. I am completely unprepared and I am having a hard time understanding why...it seems like 4years would have been more than adequate.

Cheers,

Jannine
LID 5/15/06

HuluMama said...

I told someone I felt like the rabbit in Alice in Wonderland. Of course I do have just a little longer to wait than you do, but not much longer.

Feel free to share info!!!!

FDChief said...

So cool! I couldn't be happier for you and JZ. As frenentic as it is - and will be - let's face it; fire is better than ice!

Thinking of you both...

Number 6 and no more counting! said...

your are so funny! but, I could do the very, very, very, same, exact post!

Lea
xo

Tammy said...

How WONDERFUL!

I look forward to seeing your referral announcement. You must be ready to burst.

Kayce said...

Yipppppiiiiieeeeee!!! So excited for you guys! SO excited!!

kitchu said...

you are cracking me up! forget the rest, other than getting a bit prepared (room and such). that book has sat on my shelf since i purchased it, never read it. and haven't needed it.

it's weird how it just all comes together, and this mom instinct overtakes you.

you will be wonderful, promise. it won't be "easy" but it will be... so much simpler than you imagined.

so very, very excited for you guys.

Pink Velvet Mommy said...

I work best under pressure anyway! You have so many that are so excited that the time has finally come.... Your turn to be celebrated, your turn for it to be all about you!

What is most important is for your brain, soul and heart to be ready for the IMPLOSION about to take place! No one can tell you, no one can prepare, but just know your heart is about to be highjacked in every good way!

Ergo, rocking chair, prunes, a good blanket and a lotta love and you will be off to a good start. Oh and a camera to capture everything(which you will need in your future delirious jet lagged, mommy fog brain) so you can remember those first few months!!

You are going to be a great mama and nothing makes me happier than thinking about what's to come for you and JZboy!!!

Hugs from us!!

Beeb said...

well, yes. Get stoked! You are next. HUGS!

Pink Velvet Mommy said...

by the way....Target diapers ROCK!!!! I tout them so much they owe me a few boxes in fact:)

Getting closer and closer, day by day:)

K said...

I've been wondering how it must be to wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait then, finally, it's your turn.

Forget the disposable diapers, I highly recommend sewing your own. There are some excellent patterns available and tons of different styles. Or, you can just buy them already made. No pins, no rubber pants, not these days. Or course I like my own pattern, which I've sold for over 12 years now, but I also just traced around a popular diaper (B_mGenius) and plan to make a few of these this weekend. I'd be happy to share!

Jonni said...

Hey girl!

Not tooo much longer now. I hope you make it in the next batch. can you believe the time is FINALLY here? So happy for you guys. Can't wait to see your sweet baby girl's face. :)

Hugs,
jonni

Anonymous said...

So happy for you guys. You are more prepared than you know. You will be amazing parents and that's what matters most. As for the "stuff" Baby Bargains is a great book for baby supply reviews. Sort of like a consumer reports for lots of products.

Bobbi Jo said...

Just checked the RQ and I'm panicking for you!!! So excited to see what happens...it's looking good so far!!

Hang in there mama!